Me And My Heart

Call me a sucker for profound words, words of love, promise, hope and optimism but that has always been who I am... that's why I love my current wallpaper... you can check it out if you want to in my little entertainment section... the words are from One Tree Hill's season finale for season 2 "The Tide That Left and Never Came Back". I made that little wallpaper for my own benefit. And I do think Hilarie Burton is pretty and I love Peyton's character.

This show has had a lot of impact in my life I can't really say how but it has... I love the truthfulness hidden inside some of the mushy and sometimes profound words they utter... although it isn't that much reflective of what teens here in the "real" world would say (like in The OC) I still find beauty and truth in them maybe because some of the thoughts do swirl around in my head and the show serves as an outlet for it all... who knows?!

Speaking of words, I have been playing The Wreckers' song Leave The Pieces since last night on repeat. I've let a couple of songs slip in but somehow this song is on top of my playlist. One of my professors said (I forgot who) that songs do tend to reflect some part of us or there are certain lyrics that catch our attention because it strikes some sort of nerve in us... okay those weren't the exact words but that was the thought behind it.

I don't know maybe I'm just lonely and trying to pick on my desolate heart by emphasizing who lonely it actually feels... okay I'm being a sap again... sorry. What is it with me and these type of songs? I'm also playing When It All Falls Apart by The Veronicas over and over... what is it with lyrics that go...

"And it's alright Yeah, I'll be fine Don't worry about this heart of mine Just, take your love and hit the road Cause nothing you can do or say You're gonna break my heart anyway So just leave the pieces when you go..."

"Cause baby Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart Gotta pick myself up where do I start Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart..."

Me and my heart... I must be going crazy.

I really have to start working on my weekend school load after the crazy weather I still have tons to do...

I'm going to watch Pirates tomorrow!!! Woohoo!!!!! Bye for now!

Personal Hiatus

I felt like I was in a little personal hiatus because of all the madness happening in my "real" life... what is real anyway? Any of these real?? Hmm...

I'm still pretty busy but things do tend to slow down on nights before my Tuesday and Thursday classes so I decided to drop by... I just stopped revising my paper for my Filipino class because I probably won't be satisfied with that I just printed it finally... Homeless to Harvard is finally on... an inspirational movie... something I need right now... even though it is a bit late.

I am currently going crazy with all the academic load placed on us by our professors. It is crazy but then again I chose this... just like how I chose to apply for an academic scholarship / financial aid (something I need) and I chose to apply for the Varsitarian. I'm still waiting for the result from Varsi and I'm waiting to be interviewed for that academic thing. Pray for me guys.

I am getting pretty distracted right now. Although I do want to talk about the recent One Tree Hill episode "The Wind That Blew My Heart Away" I saw. I just loved it... a lot of quotations I want to quote before I go:

"Every song has a CODA, a final movement. Whether it fades out or crashes away. Every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music? The truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just life."

"Because you kink your eyebrow when your trying to be cute. And you quote Camus (*I'm not sure about this author*), even though I've never actually seen you read. And because, you miss your parents, but you'll never ever admit that. And because I've given exactly two of these embarrassing speeches in my entire life, and they've both been with you. I mean, that's gotta mean something right? And because we're both gonna get pneumonia, but if you need to hear why I love you, I can go on all night."

Now these were some of my favorite parts... I'm living vicariously through these scenes...

Nathan: I was hurt, Haley, but I was still proud of you, everyday. (they kiss) Wait, wait, it's all getting ruined.
Haley: No, you don't need all that stuff. You got me.

Nathan: Stop it.
Haley: What?
Nathan: Whatever you're worrying about. Just stop.
Haley: How do you know I'm worried? You didn't even open your eyes.
Nathan: You think I need to see you with my eyes to know what's going on with you. What's on your mind?
Haley: I was just wondering if maybe I should go home.
Nathan: Why would you do that?
Haley: Because I don't want to wake up and have you not be here again.
Nathan: I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere.

I just love this episode... good one... I want to elaborate on my thoughts on this episode but I sadly do not have the time... I really should go. Bye!

Crazy Purpose

I have barely scratched the surface of every single thing our professors have for us (it is just too much to digest sometimes) and I feel the need to write in because if I don't I feel like my head is about to explode. Wait let me organize everything that needs to get done this week:

- Prepare for oral report in Journalism.
- Quiz in Natural Science.
- Recitation for Natural Science.
- Quiz in History.
- Quiz in English.
- Paper for Filipino to be submitted on July 11.
- Gather data on children for a different paper for Filipino.
- Quiz in Math.

I need to breathe for a bit. I took a break yesterday so now I am trying to face everything in front of me. I am trying to make sense of this chaos. Oh well... I just needed to write them all down. It is crazy you know... but I chose this and I have to live up to it. Ge did send me something to inspire me a bit amidst the madness:

"A sense of purpose is the best driving force to live. When you have a reason to live, you will never have a reason to quit. Don't be tired of doing the will of God because nothing's ever wasted..."

I need to do the will of God right now... I need to uphold my purpose...