Oh Well...

I am watching "Tuesday's With Morrie" again... I love this movie and I can't wait to get the book...

It makes me realize all the things that lacks in my life, it reminds me of all the wrong things that I have done, of all the things that I should do. I have been and am superficial most of the time... that is something that I have to lose but I know that I can't. I look at the physical side of things... it makes me feel like I lack profoundness which is something that I want... how could profoundness be achieved? Are you supposed to give up who you are to achieve profoundness?

I don't know where this is all coming from it is just pouring out of me... well finals are coming up on Monday and I feel so pressured... I have problems... caused them rather... well let us just say this is not one of my best days...

And it just made me realize about how a single piece of happiness would cause lots sadness... because I was in such a good mood last week and I guess it is about time for it to take its toll... oh well I'm glad I got that off my chest... I'm not happy but at least my mind is clear... I feel again so out of it... lonely, sad, regretful... I have caused a lot of problems... I hope they would all end... I hope that one day I would be able to handle life like Morrie... I wish one day I could be like Morrie...

So Sorry...

I have committed a huge mistake... so first of all...

REMBERT I AM SO TERRIBLY SORRY!!!!

I don't know what to say except sorry... I feel so guilty... I feel so bad... : (

Today is really not my day... sigh...

Message To My BELOVED FRIENDS

I definetly know that I shouldn't be blogging right now but I just can not help it! I have posted anything new for quite some time and I guess I have leeway (do I?), and a big I guess on that, to blog. Although I am a slacker, I have this tendency to feel like I haven't done enough studying but sometimes school stuff bore me to death... haha I'm so crazy haha...

Anyway... although she may never read this I just wanted to greet one of my oldest friends a very Very VEry VERy VERY (exaggerated much?) HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! (uy 18 na siya!) haha

PCHAN HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I don' t know what kind of day you had today but I hope it was good... as I told her in the text message I created for her this morning, it goes something like this: "Today you cross over into the adult world. Today you will be one of them, lost in the sea of people. But being lost does not mean that you are alone. You will always have me. I will always be here for you because you are so special to me. (I forgot the other lines...) Happy birthday my sis! I love you! Uy 18 na siya! Mwah!" I forgot what I really wrote but this was the gist of it.

Pchan has been my friend since we were in Grade 5 and as of this moment she has been one of my two oldest and best friends (Rianne is the other one)... so roughly estimating we have been friends for 6 or 7 years already! We have had our share of petty fights but nothing went unresolved... she has always been there when I needed her... she laughed with me... she made me laugh... she comforted me and cried with me... she like all my barkada have been an undying source of inspiration for me... all my gal and guy pals have never run out of love and support for me... which I will forever be thankful for... I know that in a few years I will most likely be leaving the country (Australia here I come!) but I know that we have our love for each other... well my love for them will always be burning in me... like Jhe said to me before... "You make your best friends in high school..." well, I will contradict that a bit and say that YOU MAKE YOUR BEST FRIENDS WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG... I don't know why that is but for me that seems to be the case...

Don't get me wrong I made good friends this year (1 JRN 1 kayo yan! haha) but no matter where I am my heart always leads back to those people with whom I spent the peak of my adolescent years... that has always been the order of things for me... and I will forever be greatful to God for giving the friends that he knew I needed so badly...

Ria... you have always been patient with me... thanks for making me feel that you are always going to be there for me...

Rianne... gosh... I think I already said all the cliche things in this world... but you always know just how to brighten my day... thanks for that...

Pchan... you may not know it but you are one of the wisest people I have ever met... you have this insight that leaves me so dumbfounded... you tell me exactly what I need to hear...

Che... you are one of the people I idolize... you are a great artist and such a great friend and person... through your silence I discover the truth that I need to hear...

Me-mae... thanks for always making me laugh... you never ever fail to make me laugh... especially since I am such a drama queen... thanks for being my sunshine...

Chell... I have known you the longest... too bad it took us a long time to be close friends... you deserve the better things in this world and you should always remember that...

Jhe... you are my little angel... you always know the right time to pick me up when I have fallen into pieces... you never fail to make me shed a tear through your sweet notes...

Jo... you are one of the strongest people that I have met... you are that type of person that never gives up and I admire that so much... thanks for the laughs and well for everything...

Anntots... I have told you this before but thanks for being my superwoman... you don't see it most of the time but you are strong... thanks for lifting me up through my frail and weak moments...

Ion... time wasn't too kind to us because it took us forever to be friends... and now that we are I am so glad... glad for every new insight... for every laugh and comfort...

Rembert... you are my oldest guy friend (think of it we've been classmates since kinder!)... you feel so lonely but as I have told you... you will always have me... you have helped me with guy troubles... you have just helped me through life... thank you...

Jolo... I don't know what to say... you were the enemy turned friend... thanks for well a lot of things... a lot of memorable things... I'll always be here for your problems... but thanks for helping me with mine...

These two guys are a special mention because they have helped me a lot... each and everyone of you guys have helped me through a lot of bad stuff in my life... you picked me up... you put up with me... you made me laugh... you have made me who I am... I am so grateful... you are all just such good people and I feel so... BLESSED... thank you so much...