My birthday is coming up although it doesn't feel like it... it is such a hectic time for me... for those who don't know it is on AUGUST 4 and it doesn't really feel like it because right now my biggest problem is this paper for my PGC class... don't you wonder why I always complain about this class... well I am not really complaining though but I have to do this paper on the REPUBLIC by PLATO which I am not yet finished reading by the way and the paper is due on my birthday! And this book is so ugh! Philosopher's what are y'all thinking your making my head spin really... if you guys ever get the chance to read this you will probably get my drift... well enough of that... my head is pounding already...
Good thing I ain't sick anymore because I got sick last Wed. I had this pounding headache and I was a sick... but I am all right now... it maybe due to stress as my dad put it... too much work I guess... still have that on my mind especially since Prelims are coming up... on August 9 to be exact but I am honestly not worried about that I am more worried about my paper... argh...
It seems that my academics are all that is plauging my life right now... yes my dear audience... if ever I had an audience... still single... miss my barkada terribly... have a prospect but again he doesn't know I exist... it just gets lonely at times but these moments are the moments when I feel sorry for myself... well not really... oh well... life goes on... mine sure the hell hasn't stopped...
By the way, I attended my first debut last July 24 for Sofie one of my old batchmates at Ange... it was cool to see a few old batchmates but there is really nothing interesting that happened there except the fact that I felt much prettier there than the time of my Junior Prom... hehe by the way BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF MY TWO BEST FRIENDS RIA LAST JULY 24! She doesn't read this but still... I miss her so much... I miss all my friends so much... it feels lonely at the univ a lot of times... oh well... I have to go now really...
*kisses*
nikki
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Burn Out...
My mind is scattered all over the place again... I don't have the enthusiasm for doing anything right now... hell I don't even know what I want to do... I guess I am experiencing a very early burnout... and this sucks... the worst hasn't even begun and I am feeling already burned out... I don't have the energy to study... that is why I am putting it off... well just reviewing... but you get my point... like the average student... I have the moments when I just don't want to study... those moments when I just want to quit... but then again those thoughts are of course just mere thoughts because studying is inevitable... I need to study to live... well to live a well and sane life but of course to live... oh man you see I am blabbering... because my mind is all over the place...
Off that topic now because that topic sucks... through all these times that I have been catching some episodes of Punk'd because I get uncomfortable when I watch people getting humiliated or agitated... well most of them get all riled up and then you will see how real these celebrities actually are...
Anyway... I saw the other day this episode when Ashton punk'd Joss Stone... and this episode confirmed that JOSS STONE IS ONE OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN... well not on a personal level but you get my point... she is probably the only person in Punk'd history... well in the episodes that I have seen... handled those situations so calmly... she was so nice and cool... I so totally love her! Love her music and all!! It was just so cool! haha
Well my mind is still scattered about but I feel a bit better... hmm... I feel lighter... although I am not going to study yet... after dinner because I still don't have the will really... bye!
*kisses*
nikki
Off that topic now because that topic sucks... through all these times that I have been catching some episodes of Punk'd because I get uncomfortable when I watch people getting humiliated or agitated... well most of them get all riled up and then you will see how real these celebrities actually are...
Anyway... I saw the other day this episode when Ashton punk'd Joss Stone... and this episode confirmed that JOSS STONE IS ONE OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN... well not on a personal level but you get my point... she is probably the only person in Punk'd history... well in the episodes that I have seen... handled those situations so calmly... she was so nice and cool... I so totally love her! Love her music and all!! It was just so cool! haha
Well my mind is still scattered about but I feel a bit better... hmm... I feel lighter... although I am not going to study yet... after dinner because I still don't have the will really... bye!
*kisses*
nikki
Friday, July 08, 2005
Feeling TGIF...
I have been looking for this song for so long! Love it!
*Sings at the top of lungs* You wanna know more more more about me! I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine Get tangled up in me!
Not exactly in the right order but those who know the song get what I am saying!
I am feeling so TGIF right now! Just happy that it is Friday! Although the country is currently in chaos... I am still happy... selfish right?! haha whatever... I can't do anything about that except pray! I am also praying for my classmates who are heading home to Pampanga right now... hope they have a safe trip... especially amidst all this turmoil.
I don't really have any special thing or story to tell you... after classes I was supposed to hang out with Jhe and Me-mae but hindi kami nagkita!!! Waah!!!! So I ended up joining my classmates to eat at this place... good food by the way and we had fun! Forgot the name though... anyway... well no real story today so I'll just go! Bye for now!
*kisses*
nikki
*Sings at the top of lungs* You wanna know more more more about me! I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine Get tangled up in me!
Not exactly in the right order but those who know the song get what I am saying!
I am feeling so TGIF right now! Just happy that it is Friday! Although the country is currently in chaos... I am still happy... selfish right?! haha whatever... I can't do anything about that except pray! I am also praying for my classmates who are heading home to Pampanga right now... hope they have a safe trip... especially amidst all this turmoil.
I don't really have any special thing or story to tell you... after classes I was supposed to hang out with Jhe and Me-mae but hindi kami nagkita!!! Waah!!!! So I ended up joining my classmates to eat at this place... good food by the way and we had fun! Forgot the name though... anyway... well no real story today so I'll just go! Bye for now!
*kisses*
nikki
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Sudden Realization...
Hello! I don't have anything to do for tomorrow! Yeah! haha so before I sleep I'll just update a bit... : )
First... I saw A Squared yesterday... whoa huge news right?! NOT! I don't know why but I wasn't really that affected when I saw him... he still looked good though... every bit my type but to be honest I wasn't really having any of the violent reactions I used to have... I was a bit surprised because I didn't expect to see him... fyi he didn't see me... but it wasn't really as huge a deal as it has been the last time I saw him... during the second batch graduation... maybe because my friends weren't there to tease me and all but then again I don't know maybe I am growing up... wow Nikki is growing up! haha wait why am I refering to myself as the third person? haha
Anyway... as I said... does that mean that I am really willing to let go already? Is this really the time for me to say goodbye to all the bitterness that is him? I will always be happy about what happened in the past... those whole kilig moments but I guess this really sort of the beginning of the REAL letting go process... FINALLY!!!
My friends won't believe me! haha but hey as long as this is how I feel... new chapter... new beginnings... it has been fun! But I won't mention his name yet! We are still in one campus! haha
Like I told my classmates, Joyce and Mayie, "Siya yung ex ko pero hindi niya alam na ex ko siya!" haha it is true! I am finally acknowledging that he is part of my past so I guess it really is time to start to let go... he will always have a special part in my heart... but this time like this quotes said... TAMA NA... MASYADO NA KITANG MINAHAL... I don't really know if I ever loved the guy... and I doubt that I ever will know but all I can say is that he has been such an important part of my past... I don't have any regrets of ever meeting him!
Now is my time for new boys! haha where are you cute guys??!!! haha this could be fun! haha man I am going crazy... effects of sudden realization? Who knows! I have always been crazy that is why I am me!!! I will be going now to sleep! Yeah! Bye!
*kisses*
nikki
First... I saw A Squared yesterday... whoa huge news right?! NOT! I don't know why but I wasn't really that affected when I saw him... he still looked good though... every bit my type but to be honest I wasn't really having any of the violent reactions I used to have... I was a bit surprised because I didn't expect to see him... fyi he didn't see me... but it wasn't really as huge a deal as it has been the last time I saw him... during the second batch graduation... maybe because my friends weren't there to tease me and all but then again I don't know maybe I am growing up... wow Nikki is growing up! haha wait why am I refering to myself as the third person? haha
Anyway... as I said... does that mean that I am really willing to let go already? Is this really the time for me to say goodbye to all the bitterness that is him? I will always be happy about what happened in the past... those whole kilig moments but I guess this really sort of the beginning of the REAL letting go process... FINALLY!!!
My friends won't believe me! haha but hey as long as this is how I feel... new chapter... new beginnings... it has been fun! But I won't mention his name yet! We are still in one campus! haha
Like I told my classmates, Joyce and Mayie, "Siya yung ex ko pero hindi niya alam na ex ko siya!" haha it is true! I am finally acknowledging that he is part of my past so I guess it really is time to start to let go... he will always have a special part in my heart... but this time like this quotes said... TAMA NA... MASYADO NA KITANG MINAHAL... I don't really know if I ever loved the guy... and I doubt that I ever will know but all I can say is that he has been such an important part of my past... I don't have any regrets of ever meeting him!
Now is my time for new boys! haha where are you cute guys??!!! haha this could be fun! haha man I am going crazy... effects of sudden realization? Who knows! I have always been crazy that is why I am me!!! I will be going now to sleep! Yeah! Bye!
*kisses*
nikki
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Freaky...
I really don't have anything interesting in mind... I don't know why... life is just pretty much going on... I go to school then I head home... pretty lonely really... I miss my friends... friends meaning my barkada... as in Ria, Pia, Che, Jhe, Mae, Chell, Ion, Anntots, Jo... and Rianne, Rembert, Waymong, Ramon, Jolo and all my high school friends... mostly the friends I gained in my last year... I don't know why but there is something during your last year in highschool... that was a great and tiring time for me.
Anyway, there was this wierd assignment though for my Literature class... we had to make our own epitaph and obituary... freaky right?! I even put in a date... I was to die January 21, 2065... I don't know why... I will be 76 years old and I would die of cancer of some sort... haha I didn't put the cancer part though that was just what I was thinking... I don't know why I think of this as a way of death for me... maybe because when I do reach that stage it is highly unlikely that I would die in my sleep for no apparent reason... I don't want to be a vegetable... I would rather die of cancer or some sort because in my perspective people who are sort of branded with a sickness sort of discover the value of their lives... and I want that... it might be too late but I want that...
Right now I do know some value of my life but I admit that I take it for granted though... and I remembered when I saw the movie version of Tuesday's with Morrie! I loved it! Haven't read the book yet and so it makes me want to read it more!!!
Anyway I still have to wake up at 5 to attend my PE class... bye for now!
*kisses*
nikki
Anyway, there was this wierd assignment though for my Literature class... we had to make our own epitaph and obituary... freaky right?! I even put in a date... I was to die January 21, 2065... I don't know why... I will be 76 years old and I would die of cancer of some sort... haha I didn't put the cancer part though that was just what I was thinking... I don't know why I think of this as a way of death for me... maybe because when I do reach that stage it is highly unlikely that I would die in my sleep for no apparent reason... I don't want to be a vegetable... I would rather die of cancer or some sort because in my perspective people who are sort of branded with a sickness sort of discover the value of their lives... and I want that... it might be too late but I want that...
Right now I do know some value of my life but I admit that I take it for granted though... and I remembered when I saw the movie version of Tuesday's with Morrie! I loved it! Haven't read the book yet and so it makes me want to read it more!!!
Anyway I still have to wake up at 5 to attend my PE class... bye for now!
*kisses*
nikki
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Angels...
Ohhh... I love my new layout!! This is my favorite! Well aside from the Orlando Bloom one! *drools* haha again it is a new month so new layout. If I don't find anything cooler than this for next month I might keep this for my birth month August just for that month because that month will be all about me! haha just kidding... : )
Well... I am so happy that it is a Saturday! Woohoo no classes! But then again I have ROTC tomorrow but at least we only have a recollection on Monday so again no classes woohoo! haha BUT well a very BIG BUT I have to read about 70 pages worth of data for our PGC... for Tuesday I might add and I also might add for a graded recitation... great! haha
You know last night I dreamt about A Squared... I don't really want to mention his name because well he doesn't really know about these feelings... or past feelings or whatever and well I am not really ready to reveal to the world his identity... I don't think I ever will be... well maybe until I have an important guy in my life and then he could be a figure of my past and then I could say his name...
Anyway as I said I dreamt about him... can't really remember much of the details... because that is usually how my dreams are... but still all I remember is that he was sort of apologising or something about well my interpretation is of our current situation... you know the no contact whatsoever... and if I remember correctly... he was telling me to sort of wait for him or wait for the next time... I don't get the whole next time really... what next time? The next oppurtunity for what? It is just a dream I know and I guess just like my Philo prof said... dreams are sort of just our imaginations running wild or something like that... I don't really know what it means... and I guess I will never know... and I guess my quote this week agrees with me a bit... "I WANT YOU BUT I'M NOT GIVING IN THIS TIME..." I am a believer that once you said you had feelings for someone that those feelings will never fade... they will forever be kept in some part of your heart... so part of me still dreams of what it would be like to be with him but as I said... I want him but I am not giving in this time... I just don't think I could take it... good thing I haven't seen him yet... I still can't handle it... everytime I see him everything floods back... it is hard really...
And I love this song too... I read in songmeanings.net that this is one of the most beautiful love songs in the world... I argee... it is just so sweet... beautiful... charming... amazing... love it...
I read my horoscope in friendster today... nothing really it is just cool... hehe
Today's Forecast
You've had a guardian angel for some time now -- someone who's been watching over you from behind the scenes, making sure that absolutely nothing happens to you that shouldn't. Prepare to meet that guardian.
In Detail
Ever see the movie 'City of Angels?' The idea behind it is that there's a whole legion of angels with us at all times, all of whom are right there by our sides every time a difficult or taxing situation comes up. They invisibly hold our hands, silently offer us words of comfort and make decisions that would be too tough for us to handle alone. Don't be surprised if you feel the presence of a benevolent guardian today.
The Bottom Line
Yep, you'll finally start finishing up all those projects you began ages ago.
I wonder who my angel could be? Oh well I have to go... I still have to call National Bookstore and look for Republic by Plato... can't find it and I need it for school... bye!
*kisses*
nikki
Well... I am so happy that it is a Saturday! Woohoo no classes! But then again I have ROTC tomorrow but at least we only have a recollection on Monday so again no classes woohoo! haha BUT well a very BIG BUT I have to read about 70 pages worth of data for our PGC... for Tuesday I might add and I also might add for a graded recitation... great! haha
You know last night I dreamt about A Squared... I don't really want to mention his name because well he doesn't really know about these feelings... or past feelings or whatever and well I am not really ready to reveal to the world his identity... I don't think I ever will be... well maybe until I have an important guy in my life and then he could be a figure of my past and then I could say his name...
Anyway as I said I dreamt about him... can't really remember much of the details... because that is usually how my dreams are... but still all I remember is that he was sort of apologising or something about well my interpretation is of our current situation... you know the no contact whatsoever... and if I remember correctly... he was telling me to sort of wait for him or wait for the next time... I don't get the whole next time really... what next time? The next oppurtunity for what? It is just a dream I know and I guess just like my Philo prof said... dreams are sort of just our imaginations running wild or something like that... I don't really know what it means... and I guess I will never know... and I guess my quote this week agrees with me a bit... "I WANT YOU BUT I'M NOT GIVING IN THIS TIME..." I am a believer that once you said you had feelings for someone that those feelings will never fade... they will forever be kept in some part of your heart... so part of me still dreams of what it would be like to be with him but as I said... I want him but I am not giving in this time... I just don't think I could take it... good thing I haven't seen him yet... I still can't handle it... everytime I see him everything floods back... it is hard really...
And I love this song too... I read in songmeanings.net that this is one of the most beautiful love songs in the world... I argee... it is just so sweet... beautiful... charming... amazing... love it...
I read my horoscope in friendster today... nothing really it is just cool... hehe
Today's Forecast
You've had a guardian angel for some time now -- someone who's been watching over you from behind the scenes, making sure that absolutely nothing happens to you that shouldn't. Prepare to meet that guardian.
In Detail
Ever see the movie 'City of Angels?' The idea behind it is that there's a whole legion of angels with us at all times, all of whom are right there by our sides every time a difficult or taxing situation comes up. They invisibly hold our hands, silently offer us words of comfort and make decisions that would be too tough for us to handle alone. Don't be surprised if you feel the presence of a benevolent guardian today.
The Bottom Line
Yep, you'll finally start finishing up all those projects you began ages ago.
I wonder who my angel could be? Oh well I have to go... I still have to call National Bookstore and look for Republic by Plato... can't find it and I need it for school... bye!
*kisses*
nikki
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