It is me again... this is the first time I realized how much I missed blogging... it has been such a long time since I last posted because I was having the hell of a time at school... I didn't neglect my private journal so much but this I did... I am sorry but this is too much of a temptation... and that whole crazy life style changed after graduation... now I am pretty much bumming around the house and it is just so cool... haha I even unleashed my inner bum this summer... ; )
School was so eventful... especially graduation... the days before that... it was amazing... it was sad but amazing... I do have to say that I am proud of myself and I am going to boast for awhile but before that be warned this will be a bit long I don't know why but a lot of things are running about 90 miles per hour (whatda?! where did that come from! I don't even know the equivalent to that ahaha!!!) okay let us just say things words are flying through my head at a very fast pace... anyway I am waaay of the topic... I said about being boastful because during the grad I gave the welcoming remarks... it made me so proud hehe although all I said were just a few "welcoming words" but hey it is still a big deal... I was still chosen.. and I am proud of myself because I was one of the recipients of the General Excellence Award... actually like Ms. Brozo told me she was expecting that I'd be one of those who got it because I am the EIC well retired EIC (haha) what connection you may ask? Well for the past ten or whatever years the editor in chief of the Angelicum Nth was always one of the recipients of this award... it is pretty cool and I guess all my goddamn work for the past year paid off... : ) yehey for me! hahaha
Wow and now I am enrolled in UST hehe Rembert magkasama nanaman tayo haha! Steeg by the way Rembert hats off to you astig ng mga drawings mo e!! Kakaelibs... unluckily or luckily I was not given the gift of the paintbrush (aka drawing) heck the only thing I can draw are stick people! And remember those books where you trace the drawing with this type of paper... that I can do well! haha Anyway check out where he posts his drawings he is in my friends list check it out for yourself... oo nga pala dude may cell ka na ba? At promise ko sayo next week hindi na si Orlando ang skin ko... hehe next time na lang ulit haha susunod naman flowers hehehe joke lang... basta watch out for it na lang... : )
Back to the UST thing... I am nervous... college scares me but just check out what I wrote in the past entry... it is connected to this... I really can't do anything about it...
Onto the next things running through my mind... since I disappeared for like a very long time I read the past entries of Rianne hey best whattup?! hehe pardon my words I just don't know where they are friggin coming from... : ) I was reading about what you have been up to since the last time we caught up with each other... medyo na confuse ako sino nga ba si "ex"? si chocnut? si friendster dude si angelicum guy di ba? Anyhoo... I even read yung entry mo Rembert sa journal nung site... I just realized with these posts that man love is really that hard to deal with isn't it? It makes you feel so worthless and inferior yet at the same time with the right kind of love it makes you feel like the luckiest person on earth... how do I know that it feels like that? I don't...
Wierd answer because like Rianne I am a NBSB... No Boyfriend Since Birth... actually I consider myself NRRWSB... No Romantic Relationship Whatsoever Since Birth... hehe it is funny really... you might be asking yourself right now how can someone who never found love say so much bull about it? Actually I think I did find it but I have nothing to compare it to except for the observations of the people around me... I still don't get it how it comes so easily for me to "preach" or "badmouth" love when I haven't even seen it with my own eyes... I guess it maybe because love isn't in the eyes it is in the heart... I guess I have love... love from my friends... love from my family and love from God... but you all know what kind of love I am talking about...
I still don't get it really... Rembert I know I am butting into your business but hey don't blame me you posted it and well I am pretty nosy which is a bad thing that I have to get rid of (bad nikki) but still even if it is wrong to butt into your business you must remember that I am a friend... I love yah dude! Anyway... one person posted a comment about that and she is right... don't let anyone make you feel insignificant... I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt (tama ba spelling ko? hehe) who said "You can never let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent..." it is true... don't hold on to someone who makes you feel so bad about yourself... it is hard and I have said this to a couple of people and to myself so many times but the first thing you must do is let go or just try to... never get so hung up... in the end you will realize that it just isn't worth it and that as she said... just wait... that is the one thing I have learned through out my NRRWSB thing... wait because pardon me for sounding cheesy but... nothing good comes overnight... love is out there waiting for you to just stay put... open your heart... receive the love... if it hurts you try to open it up again and remove the pain but don't stitch it up or lock it up... let it heal... let it leave a scar even but make sure that you will open it up again for maybe the next time you do it would be the one that you are looking for... it is uncertain but in our world nothing really is... dude you can do it! I can do it! We all can do it! It sucks BIG TIME but that is just how it is... just work with it... again I'm sorry for invading on such a personal matter but my only reason is to help and come to think of it your entry and Rianne's past entries have helped me so much to realize what I am supposed to give up and what I should wait and hope for... never give up hope pre!
Rianne!!!! Ikaw naman... I'm in my Charo Santos mode ika nga ni Cheryl... I am having an enlightining afternoon... actually what I told Rembert is what I want to tell you... you both are amazing people and don't let other people say otherwise... listen but decide on your own... OMG I really am in my Charo Santos mode this afternoon... pardon to all of you but this for me is an important matter... this just don't head out to my to good friends but to everyone out there in the same situation... this is for all of us... hope I gave you something to think about... I am the love "not so expert" expert... I know that is ridiculous but I am feeling ridiculous...
Sorry for this long entry but at least the words in my head are slowing down... 'til the next entry! Bye!!!! : )
*kisses*
nikki
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