Alone In A World Filled With People

I am so happy because the prelims are so over!! haha well except for my philo prelims which will be two weeks from now so I don't really have to worry about that... I am half way thru the semester... haha... man time sure flies by...

I remember how I was so anxious right before classes start... only a few months have passed since high school and my life has changed so drastically that it scares me a bit... okay it scares me a lot... especially all the change... I changed a lot... my friends changed... my surroundings and they way I handle things... it is so freakin' scary really...

I used to love going out and just hang out at different places... but this year I have lost the will to do so... I don't know why... maybe I am still reeling over the whole change and suddenly my studies have taken center stage in my life... I love my classmates... they are as nice as hell and they're a cool bunch seriously... but I still can't help feeling left out... I feel like I am in my own alternate universe sometimes...

I just figured out what changed the most this year... well not really changed but this year has seriously been the loneliest year of my life... ironically I have a lot of new friends but I feel so ALONE... I am surrounded by so many people everyday yet I still feel so alone...

I don't tell my feelings to my friends... well if they would bother to read this then they would now know... I don't want to bother them with this and besides they don't have the time anymore... that is the biggest changed but then again of course you just have to let go... you can't hold on to something for so long... like they say the only constant thing in life is change... and that sucks... haha

But again who am I to challenge the power of nature... I just have to take things as they come... I have to learn to let go... I am so clingy... haha it just sucks though... hay... it sucks to be alone... it sucks to feel so lonely... oh well... life goes on right?! I'd just go right now okay... bye!

*kisses*
nikki