Cruel

I hate being helpless, human as I am I hate being subjected to the ironies and sometimes cruelties of life. God's plan? Could be. But sometimes no matter how much faith you have you know you have to ask why. There is nothing wrong with questioning it. I take this out of the mouth of one Dominican priest last Sunday who had an interesting perspective on the whole on the Doubting Thomas story. He said that it is not that Thomas doubted God because if he really did doubt then he would have been gone a long time ago and would not have stuck by Jesus. He was just trying to deepen his faith. Asking questions mean you would like to get to know the subject better. It has nothing to do with lacking faith. You just want to understand, in order to believe.

Well I am off topic because what I really want to talk about is an entry I wrote exactly one year ago, April 27, 2005. The entry is entitled Signs, Coincidences and at this moment that is an understatement. Because exactly one year later my dad got in an accident again. His knee sort of gave in and he fell in our room.

Nothing worse I hope but I think it is the exact same thing that happened. They are in Orthopedic Center right now and I am here alone at home. I find it funny how every time I'm left alone here at home it is because someone just got in accident. I'm blaring my music a bit to sort of release all the tension. I couldn't breathe awhile ago. I hate seeing the people I love get hurt. At least my mom was here though even if she got an asthma attack a bit afterwards... I guess we were all scared and short of breath. We were all dizzy. And I didn't have to bear this alone. I don't know what I would have done if I was alone.

I just don't get it why things like this happen. I just don't get it. I hope my dad is okay. It is really a cruel joke isn't it?!