Creativity For Personal Gratification

I'm always contemplative at night, right at that moment before I fall asleep. I suddenly get these wierd and interesting ideas which I can't get into paper because I am just too lazy to get up and I want my beauty sleep.

Right now it is 12:05 am and I just felt like writing in. Since I am not sleepy I took the time to pass by here. And speaking of passing by, I just passed by this special on Evanescence in Studio 23 in lieu with their new album Open Door and Amy Lee was talking about how she tends to get into this trance like state when she writes and at this time all her creative thoughts arise from misery and sadness but in the end she just wants to break free and be happy.

That statement inspired me to write myself. Whenever I come up with new stuff for this blog or a poem or a story (something I haven't done in a long time) I am usually inspired by events I see on television, a movie, a book, a strange comment from my dad (he has a lot of that!) or any new observation around me... I draw inspiration from a lot of things and today I was actually feeling somewhat creatively drained... I so badly wanted to write something yet I could not come up with any decent thought worth being put down on paper.

I draw from bad experiences more as well probably because bad experiences evoke a lot of emotions we rarely tap in when we are "blissfully" happy and content. And probably because we love seeing other people miserable and knowing that they express that misery in something concrete it makes us feel better about our own situation... let's face it, every single moment we come up with something new it is all just for personal gratification. I'm not denying that. We are born to be selfish that is why it is an extraordinary act to be generous towards other people. I believe my own creativity is a result of my wanting to feel better about myself. I'm not denying that... I never have and I never will...

See, this is why I enjoy writing at night... I did say I was contemplative at night right?