It Tastes Like Chicken

Because every single time I watch One Tree Hill I get the urge to write I am here in front of the PC. I am trying to watch The OC and typing this entry at the same time. Thanks to WinFast TV Tuner on the PC... it is still hard though. As I said, that show has a way of making me want to write something, anything creative. That's why I make a lot of allusions to that show. It just has that effect on me.

Since I don't have any particular topic in mind. I decided to look through the list of topics I want to talk about on this blog (yes I have a list). And the last one seems to strike my fancy at the moment so here goes nothing...

It tastes like chicken... that is the idea. It is a funny expression but we use it for things we don't want to eat because it is somewhat exotic or just plain wierd or nasty. It is like a reassurance I guess.

My dad gave me the idea for this entry while we were having lunch a week ago. He commented on how funny it is that every thing else we wouldn't think of eating is portrayed as something "chicken-ish".

What I am trying to get at actually is life. I thought that this expression is a great way of living our lives. We fear a lot of things and to have something familiar and secure makes us feel safe. We should apply the philosophy of the chicken and take each fear and oppurtunity and see it as something that is attainable, not scary and within our reach.

Really just think of it this way... IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.

Blame this on my over active imagination. A somewhat intelligent entry when you look at it in a certain point of view...

Conformity Is Overrated

I never expect complex story lines from comic books turned into movies because most of the time they can not place too much depth alongside all that action and X-Men did not prove me wrong on that one. But that trilogy still manages to entertain me and make me fall in love with it which leaves me waiting for the "rumored" Wolverine spin off movie (or I am waiting for the spin off because Hugh Jackman would be in it).

It could be the female superheroes (I love Storm!), Hugh Jackman (I really do have a HUGE CRUSH on this guy, no pun intended), the insane special effects and action squences, or the emotionality, as the actors put it, contained in each of these mutants stories.

To be living in world where non-conformity and deviant behavior is seen as a disease this movie did leave that important message for their audiences: Never let other people decide what you think is right, fight for your principles as long as you know it is for the greater good, and never conform just to belong. It took the special of MTV on the movie for me to grasp this message.

To be honest when I left the cinema I was a bit disappointed because I felt like it was missing something and it was somehow anti-climactic. I felt that this wasn't supposed to be the way they were going to end this series. But I realized the significance of it all and now I know that everything ended as it was supposed to.

Although I do have a lot of questions... what really happened to Rouge? Does the cure have side effects? And to all the fans of the comic book, what is Angel's other power aside from flying? I'm serious about the last question can someone please answer that for me.

Oh, last question if you were an X-Men who would you be?

I would love to be Storm. Callisto would be cool too although I would not join Magneto's cause.

Go see the movie for yourselves, prepare to be entertained, you will be in for a wicked thrill ride.

AMERICAN IDOL AMERICAN IDOL AMERICAN IDOL

Another season is done... the best in the American point of view battled it out and Mr. Taylor Hicks emerged as the winner. I am a Katharine McPhee fan but I know that Taylor deserves the title. He nailed the performance night. It was his night.

Well, except for Katharine's illustrious "Somewhere Over Rainbow" rendition. She's so great! I love Kat! I pray for a successful career for her she deserves it. This season's idols deserve it. I just can't say enough how this is the best season ever!

It was a star studded night! I loved all the performances in the result show. I was surprised when Prince arrived because I know the rumors around him and how he turned down "mentoring" the idols, I guess he just wanted to perform.

It has been a great season. I wished it would have been a Chris and Katharine finale but things have a way of working out. More things are in store for this people I just know it.

This is actually the first season where I was rooting for someone to actually win the American Idol title. I didn't really have a favorite between Fantasia and La Toya in Season 3 or Bo and Carrie in Season 4 (I wanted Constantine to win!). This season I wanted Chris to win but that didn't happen although I was happy that my favorite idol Katharine was in the finale. This time I was hoping very badly that she would win it. But after I saw the performances last night I just had a feeling that Taylor was supposed to win this. I accepted it last night already...

And before I end this entry I just want to say something in Katharine's defense. Her debut single which I know is not made by them did not showcase her talent as much as it should have. As Randy put it, she was greater than that song. Now all I have to wait for is her debut album...

I'm Sure They Want It Badly

I am counting down the hours until I am once again graced by the presence of... Katharine McPhee and Taylor Hicks as they bring another season of, one of the most popular television shows American Idol, to a close. I'm excited and scared for both of them and joyous at the same time because this would mean that the Idols this season are just about to begin their careers.

The best season by far, even if I only got to catch season 3 up until present. Other seasons pale in comparison with all the talent crammed in this one season. They had the most incredible talent this season. Too bad a Filipino had to bow out quite early. Anyway, I just can't wait to see what is in store for Ms. Katharine McPhee (my personal idol), Chris Daughtry (it still is not the same without him duking it out with Ms. McPhee), Ace Young, and every single one of them (yes even "Chicken Little" wait I forgot his name... oops). Taylor would have a pretty interesting career I bet.

A lot of you are already watching it right now through Star World, while us unlucky ones still have to wait until 10 tonight... I wait with bated breath to see, as Chris puts it, who wants this more. Who wants it bad enough to be the next American Idol?

Love But Not Really

The more they are convinced that I am still in love with him, the more I realize how much I AM NOT.

I haven't really talk about him in quite some time already because he has slowly been disappearing from my radar. Fine it is more like I am pushing him out of it but that method seems to be working for me.

That resolve has been tested twice within a four or five day difference and I have come to a conclusion... I AM SO OVER HIM.

My friends keep trying to bring him up. Everyone is trying to coax an answer out of me. One high school friend through chat asking if there was any suitors lurking around which of course there are none.

Then my close friends were talking about one of my closest friend's old flame that just won't go away over Anne's birthday celebration dinner last Friday where they were convinced that I wasn't naming any new "prospects" because I was still hung up on him. All they got was a shrug and laugh out of me.

It's funny how my group of friends never seem to be convinced when one of us is in denial about our love lives. Maybe because most of the time we are just trying to cover up how we really feel. We all do get a laugh out of it sometimes. Watching each one of us squirm under prodding. It is a lot of fun. I miss those girls so much. UEU you still rock!

Anyway, there is still one more instance / test. Just a few hours ago I was on the phone with one of those said girl friends and she was mentioning this show on TV where the girl's name was my name and her love interest had the same first letter as "Mr. Old Flame" (new name for him! HAHA) and she immediately thought of me.

I didn't know how to respond to that but no romantic spinning or tumbling going on in my system. It felt like one of those KODAK moments where you feel like you are going through some old scrapbook and feel happy and all but not regretful of whatever was happening currently.

Again I laughed it off and said "NICE". I believe it was the perfect response in this situation. We were on to the next topic after that. No mention of him again in that conversation. The first sentence of this entry was what I thought of after all of this.

I realized that I am over him and I really have never been in love. Out of my 17 turning 18 years of existence I have never felt what it is like to be in love. I'm looking forward to that gut wrenching feeling but as of this moment it has never come to pass.

Love is such a huge word to throw around. I believe through my years of observation that it is probably the best treasure we could ever find or stumble upon (in some cases) in this planet of ours. So to throw around I love you like it was a piece of candy wrapper should be considered a sin. Love is sacred and beautiful. I just hate it when it is used to get something out of someone. Virginity back anyone?

Anyway, I'm going to backtrack... what I felt for old flame was probably just a worse case of infatuation. I was so hung up on him that I let myself believe that it was love. Maybe I was given a taste of it but I don't believe that I got the whole thing. He barely knew I existed for Christ's sake! I was just another nice girl to him.

And after years of trying to chase after this guy who just doesn't want to be pursued. I am letting my mind take a rest, I am putting my heart at ease. I am letting go of the illusion that he was interested in me and I am allowing myself to set free the even bigger weight of the idea that I was even in love with him.

When Faced With Reality

Reality is like the tear in your favorite shirt. Everything is so magnificent and seemingly perfect but once you are snagged by its horrendous claws prepare to head downhill by that time. An exaggeration on my part I know but I am just trying to get my point across. Reality's a bitch. We all know that. It is the pair of scissors that cuts right through every seamless fantasy.

Question: What is the solution to the aching pains of real life?

Simple Answer: Make-believe.

Make-believe is the moment where you see things the way you want to see them. No one's opinion matters. It is yours and yours alone. The "real world" or the reality you are trying to escape from is slowly turning into that nightmare you were able to wake up from, unharmed.

But we also know that fantasy is the game we choose to play. In different forms it tantalizes us into becoming chums with him. It tempts us into believing that through him and belief in him will erase the problem we were trying to run from in the first place.

In this light, "playing" make-believe actually turns into this dangerous game. It is like you are flirting with danger itself.

All I'm really trying to say is that make-believe when used as a diversionary tactic or escape route would cause more damage than good in the long run. It is alright to indulge in a bit of fantasy every now and then. Whatever rocks your boat as they say. But they also remind us that too much of something is harmful. Reality, in the morning, would still be there to rear its head and remind you that the only way to truly get rid of it is to face it.

A Twisted Greeting

I'm thinking of something clever to say but after almost just 4 hours of sleep, bacon and eggs going down my system (yum), left over caffeine from too much iced tea last night (I don't know if that's possible) which led to my 4 hour sleep and no caffeine to kick start this morning yet, a short "brown out" (what do you call this anyway this is not a valid English word) which led to me waking up and despite the cold weather I couldn't get back to sleep, and I have a hangover from missing my friends already even after I just saw a bunch of them last night (awww), I am at a loss of words...

Although the Forty Foot Echo gave me an idea thanks to their song "Brand New Day". Tomorrow is indeed a new day and May 14 is Mother's Day. And after such a long introduction of nothing related to this whatsoever it becomes a twisted greeting.

To mothers, mothers-to-be, and grandmothers out there may you enjoy your special day. You are the true super heroes for everything you have done for your children...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Back To My Basics

The sun is finally peaking out... at 9:28 in the morning it is finally a somewhat bright morning. It has been noticed that summer is already bowing out. How sad... aside from Christmas this is my favorite time of the year but I guess it is time for another time of the year to open.

With this new season coming up, I shall take the cue from Christina Aguilera who is leaning towards naming her upcoming album "BACK TO BASICS" - which is fine by me as long as she has a new one - and return to back to MY basics.

As you can see I have reverted to one of the templates of Blogger because I am bored with Blogskins and I just want a fresh start. I am in the process of trying to learn web design (a long progression I know) and I just wanted to take it back to the writing.

I love this template especially because of its simplicity and how it will always remind me of summer. It gives me more oppurtunity to concentrate on developing my craft. My writing style and no one elses. I just want to return to the time when originality was what I was striving for. With egotism intact, this is just all about me.

May summer be always in your hearts.

Out Of My Bubble

I have been feeling somewhat in an inspired slash restless bubble lately but that usually changes when I am caught off guard by my "not-so-intellectual-but-oh-so-good-feeling" when the one thing that truly picks me up is in my presence or somewhat in my presence because this pick-me-up takes the form of one person... ORLANDO BLOOM.

This man just catches me off guard every SINGLE time. I turn into a blubbering, squealing mess whenever I see him. I just saw him on Oprah just now and my chest got tight and my father could probably hear me squealing in the other room...

Yes I am one of those fans who probably would be crying or just plain going crazy if ever he was really in my presence. He was helping out this young lady and I just felt so envious when he kissed her on the cheek! I would be the fan who'd be speechless when I am in front of him. I totally lose my cool when this guy is on tv or if I see a picture of him. That is why I take very good care of my TeenVogue October 2005 issue with him on the cover.

I can't help myself. He is just so real to me. Real in a way that I see how passionate he is about what he does, he doesn't give into the media hype by flashing his love life and private life in public just to be more famous than he is. It is about his craft... and the women he gets to work with as he puts it before.

Seriously how can you not love a guy who says:

"When you start falling for somebody and you can't stop thinking about when you're going to see them again, I love that," "Women are beautiful. They deserve to be cherished and respected." And, he adds with a laugh, "They're a handful."

***Photo courtesy of People.com

Mission Accomplished

There are a bunch of things I have always wanted to do and when I read an article on Mandy Moore about things she wishes to accomplish before she turns 30 and it inspired me to make my list. Some of the things she wanted to do I want for myself to.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

There are a lot of things I want to try do before I turn 30 or maybe before I even die. These are things I want to happen in my life, some of them I fear and some of them I want with all my heart and soul but I can't somehow reach. I want this list to be about testing my limits and see where I can find myself in the future.

• Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity - although I can hardly do grunt work do save my life. I am willing to learn and I can carry stuff around. This would definitely be a great experience.
• Take up photography - there is something about the world around me that makes me want to capture every moment I can on film.
• Learn how to play the drums
• Learn how to SCUBA dive and get my license - I have always had respect and fear for the sea / ocean with all those people dying at sea and it reminds me of its power and of its beauty and I want to experience it.
• Write a novel
• Learn how to play an electric guitar
• Learn how to surf - as I said I love the sea and I have this fascination with surfing and the waves.
• Publish a collection of my poetry
• Run a marathon
• Get my masters abroad - I want to experience studying in another country and what a better way than to get my MA in another country.
• Learn how to knit
• Learn to sew actually - No matter how many sewing lessons we had in TLE back in my elementary / high school days I cannot sew to save my life.
• Visit Italy, Prague, New York and a lot of other places
• Try to send at least one kid to school - I want to help an underprivileged kid stay in school and reach his / her goals in life.
• Ultimate road trip around the Philippines
• Learn 3 other languages
• Learn to cook
• Go on an archeological dig - I wanted to be an archeologist when I was a kid.
• Plant a tree and grow my own flower and vegetable garden
• Throw a surprise party for a friend
• Learn how to dance - I have weak (???) hand-eye coordination so I want to learn how to dance.
• Complete my first painting - I love the arts, I revel in them although drawing is seriously the one thing I can't do to save my life but that doesn't stop me from wanting to complete a painting.
• Play beach volleyball - okay this is lame but I haven't played beach volleyball in my life... or wait did I? I'm not sure...
• Go mountain climbing - I have a fear of heights but only when I rappel and look down something but climbing up places isn't a problem for me.
• Record a song - I'm not looking for a new career but I do want to learn how to sing and just record a song for fun.
• Bungee jump and sky dive - this would really test my limits.
• Learn to bake and decorate pastries
• Write about 500 poems and stories
• Model
• Write a screenplay
• Work for UN
• Make a difference in someone's life and teach them a valuable lesson - that's all I want to make an impact in my own little way.
• Learn web graphic design
• Direct a documentary
• Try my hand at styling for a magazine - I have an ever growing love for fashion so it would be fun to be a stylist even for just one shoot.

There are so many other things I want to accomplish in my life and who knows I might take some off the list because I accomplished them and replace them with more dreams that I want to reach.

***Magazine Scans courtesy of MandyMoore.org