The water was ice cold but that was what he needed. Looking up he sees his reflection, a 23-year-old who could pass for an older man with the stubble he has been sporting for the past few weeks.
He tells everyone it’s a fashion statement but deep down he knows what it stands for. She broke his heart exactly three weeks ago. Apparently for her, he just wasn’t man enough.
He felt the knife pierce through his heart and with a twist of her words she took his heart right out of his chest. He knew what he lacked. He was always contemplating that. He repeats the words “You’re too young…” over and over in his head. They haunted him like a plague. It isn’t obvious with his nonchalant attitude towards other things in his life but those words left a lasting mark in him.
Walking around his apartment you could still see traces of her. The pictures and clothes she’s left behind. But the biggest remnant is the painting, her painting. He coaxed her into posing nude for him behind the setting sun seen on his balcony. There wasn’t much time but he got the sunset more importantly he got her, all of her. Whenever someone saw that painting you could see this woman, you could feel this woman, you could breathe her in. The sexuality, the maturity, the essence of her could be seen in that one painting.
He wanted to get rid of it though. He felt the desire to cause harm to the painting because he wanted to believe that if it was destroyed then part of her will die as well. Maybe she would then feel remorse for leaving him.
He took the painting into his hands and thought of all the ways he could destroy it but he never found it in him to proceed with his plan. It just felt wrong. After all the pain she put him through he still could not do it. He sadly believed that if a part of her did go with the painting then he couldn’t bear hurting her like that. Setting the painting down on the floor, he heads for the balcony.
A big ball of contradiction is spinning out of control in him. He couldn’t do anything because these emotions are getting the best of him. He just sits out on that balcony each day thinking of all those wonderful times they spent there. The deep conversations they had and passionate sex they experienced on that balcony haunted him constantly. He is absorbed in that world that he willingly let that ghost of his past take over him completely.
No amount of convincing from his best friend could get him out of his trance. It just consumed him. He still felt her with him. He was desperate enough to believe that it was his fault. It did not matter that she cheated on him. That wasn’t what he wanted to think of. He still loved her with all his heart and soul.
The cruel words hurt him but her absence left a permanent scar. “I can’t take this anymore.” That’s all he could say. Those words encapsulate all he felt. The missing piece rendered him useless. His broken heart couldn’t take the beating.
He suddenly knew what to do about his situation. The thoughts seemed like a breath of fresh air to him. When his heart stops beating then he wouldn’t have to feel this way anymore. This idea appealed to him so much that without any hesitation he climbed up the balcony railing and jumped off the building.
She felt her heart shatter into a million pieces when she found out. She loved him but she wanted to believe that it wasn’t meant to be. It was a ten year age difference. She knew it was never meant to last.
Cheating on him was her only solution. “That would make him break up with me.” She knew that she couldn’t break up with him. She did not have it in her to do that. A strange thought but to her it made sense. She could shift the blame onto something else. It means that she wouldn’t have to bring up the age difference.
“You’re too young…” The words still escaped her mouth. Hundreds of emotions registered on his face but the hurt in his eyes still brings her to tears even after weeks of their separation. She loved him so she let him go. She knew that he needed to be with people his own age.
When she heard of his death, she couldn’t bear to look at herself. She couldn’t even get out of bed. She only found the strength to get up when his painting was delivered to her. She did not know if it was out of revenge that his best friend gave it to her. He told her that the painting belonged to her. His best friend did not speak to her after that.
His arrival reminded her of something he told her before. “Be careful, his heart’s more fragile than you think.” That was his best friend’s warning. She didn’t pay attention to it because she knew she was in love. But when that love wasn’t enough anymore. When that love brought about his death. She realized how true those words were. She not only broke his heart, she took his life as well.
***
I began this story back in high school. I never found it in me to continue the story. Until now anyway. It scares me to publish this but I know this story brings me back to my roots. I took up Journalism because of stories like this. It does need a title though. Any suggestions? I will properly acknowledge.
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