Confessions Of A Wallflower

A wallflower... someone who goes unnoticed. Ever been that person? Ever felt like no one seems to hear you? Like you just blend into the background and you go through the day just waiting to be noticed, something that seems petty for most people but to you it would mean the world. To finally get noticed...

I have been a wallflower a lot of times in my life and it is not a good feeling to be honest... who wants to be ignored really? It is hard to watch the world pass you by, you are trying to make these tiny efforts which seem like such a big obstacle and most of the time your efforts are futile... you relish the moments where you are seen as you are. You relish the moments where people see the real you, appreciate what you could really do. Those are your moments of victory, of triumph and success... you pray for more of those times, you wish time would stop even though you know that the truth would wake you up from your euphoria and slap you back down to the reality which is the nothingness of your life.

You live a life of routine. You struggle to live actually... hoping to get the attention you know you know you deserve, hoping to get the approval of your parents, the respect from your peers and the admiration from a boy... a boy who sure as hell doesn't know you and care to know you, for you are just a wallflower and yet you can't seem to rid the hope of getting all of this... of getting that acceptance you know you should get.

It is hard to fight for a place of glory in this world and it is even a tougher battle for a wallflower. It is a never ending struggle to get to the top and somehow a wallflower has more patience and strength than any other person on the planet. They would gladly sit and just listen to you talk hoping that you would turn to them and ask how they are and how their day was, those simple things that seem so insignificant mean the world to them. They appreciate the simple things in life.

Now who is the better person?! You how continue to ignore and hurt the wallflower or the wallflower who has simple hopes and dreams that someday they really wish would come true. Being ignored is such a terrible curse and they have learned to live with it. HATS OFF TO THE WALLFLOWERS! I'm one of you... and together we hope somehow to finally fufill our simple dreams and simply just make a dent in the world... a simple dent that would last for more than lifetime...

***I have been wanting to write this for quite some time now. Since I still feel pretty much the same... I am a wallflower. It's hard. It hurts me a lot. Although somehow, I have learned to live with it. It is my curse. It is who I am and somehow it helps me grow as a person... I wish for more though, who doesn't anyway? But finally letting this out is something which helps me breath. I am a wallflower. It is a sad thing to be... but this is who I am. I just live day-by-day in hopes of finally being someone special. I live to hope for the love and appreciation I know I deserve and maybe to make that small dent in this world.