Dream Guy Does He Exist?

I have another pimple on my face... that is just great! One more thing to add to my misery... wow third entry... I am really that affected by this s***

I feel so friggin crappy that it just isn't funny... it is ironic how one person can affect another in such a grand degree sometimes even to the point of ending their lives (no don't get the wrong idea I WON'T KILL MYSELF over someone that is just plain STUPID)... but I hope you sort of get my point... it is just friggin annoying... I hate feeling this way... I hate feeling sad... I just hate it! I hate being out of my optimistic mood... it sucks... it so f***in sucks... I apologise for all the profanity but I am just not really in a good mood and well this sort of happens to me when I am not because through writing I can sort of get the baggage out of me for a bit...

I really don't know what to do! It is argh!!! One of the songs that suit me is "Smile" by Tamia, "Truth Is" by Fantasia although this guy was never my ex... but when you hear the song it pretty much describes how I feel... just throw me a song that is about someone who still has feelings for a person they thought was in their past and then you may get how I feel...

This gets me in a nostalgic mood... I was answering a survey in friendster some time today and it asked to describe your dream guy/girl and this is what I came up with...

"Someone who looks at me as if I am the only thing that matters... when I look in his eyes everything makes sense and I know that everything is going to be all right... someone who is a bit shy but is willing to overcome that to express how he feels about me... he doesn't have to complete me because I know I am complete as is... but he has to complement me and will be able to handle all the madness that goes on in my life... he will take me for who I am not who he wants me to be..."

I still have a lot to add to that so I'll just put it here...

"My dream guy would be someone who tries to be there for me and when he can't he will make me feel that he regretted not being there when I needed him... he will be the guy who will not just say the right words but he will be honest enough to tell me the truth... he will put up with me and I will do the same for him... (I know this is sort of selfish because it is all for my benefit but hey! That is why he is my dream guy...) he would know how to lift me up from the crappiest mood... he won't change his attitude just because he is "with the boys" and I will promise not to change and not to try to change him... he will respect my boundaries... he will love me until it is humanly possible... he will make me the happiest woman alive..."

Oh well... dreams are dreams...

*kisses*
nikki