I have no idea how I can have such strong feelings for someone who doesn't even know me... don't ask me who or why? Let us just leave with the intials SDA... hehe dead give away... well not really...
Anyway... I know it is infatuation because I believe you can never love someone you don't know... maybe that is what happened to the past guys just deep, soul deep infatuation... not love... hmm... here I go again... love... I guess I really don't know it... the hell with it... it will come when it chooses to!
But still I can't believe I am so deeply infatuated with this guy, with SDA... I just thought you try to rearrange the initials and it spells SAD... wow sign? Well maybe because well maybe he'll just make me sad... not him maybe I'll just make myself sad because I am trying to dig up feelings for this guy who I am really, REALLY sure doesn't know I exist...
Let me tell you how I came to know SDA... well I met him before about 5 or 6 years ago... don't get me wrong we weren't formally introduced... I don't want to give much away because I don't want you to figure out who he is... I just saw him those few years back then this summer after spending the weekend in Canyon Woods I saw him again... I didn't know it was him not until my tita mentioned his name... it just came back to me... well she mentioned his last name and I forgot his first name but by some quirk of fate... Rembert knows this guy... makes me want to sing "It's A Small World After All..." hehe and well saw him on friendster and that confirmed that it was him...
Still every time I think of him... I get the butterflies in my stomach... I feel happy. But it comes with the occasional nagging saying that I should stop dreaming... what gives me more butterflies are the nice things people are saying of him! It just well it makes me fall a bit deeper I know that everyone can't be that nice... I mean we all have our negative sides but still... after examining this entry it makes me think of how similar my entries about guys are and that makes me come to the conclusion of what this will end up in... and that makes me sad... it sucks really... I hate it... but I guess what's a girl to do?
*kisses*
nikki
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